Via some back-channel communications with Mr. Heidelberger over at that fine Madison online publication (now there is a gentleman with some intellect!), I've decided to bypass a run for legislature from Arlington. I'm going to run for Governor of South Dakota in 2010 instead.
Like my Cousin Sibby, I haven't decided upon a party, if any. The Republicans believe in values but hate intellectuals. The Democrats seem to tolerate intellectuals but hate values. I'm thinking perhaps of resurrecting the Whig Party or joining my Cousin Sibby in his attempt to form a Conservative Coalition of some sort.
Further, as my Cousin Sibby notes today, legislators already depend upon his tremendous research skills. I think to heal the rift between us two identical cousins, I shall want him to be my Campaign Research Director.
And my other identical Cousin, Sobby, I shall approach to be my Communications Director, as he seems facile with Photoshop. Unfortunately, I shall need to buy him the Oxford Unabridged Dictionary due to his atrocious spelling. Other Cousin Sibby should borrow it as well.
While I believe Mr. Heidelberger would be a likely candidate to be a member of my inner staff or Cabinet, I need a man with more experience as my running mate. Thus, I will be approaching Dr. David Newquist of that Aberdeen online publication. Like me, he believes society has gone to hell in a hand basket, he uses lots of big words like me, and he's earned a Ph.D. Very impressive.
Plus, I believe Dr. Newquist would have no compunction about telling young toughs to get off his lawn.So, with my team in place, I shall begin the much overdue process of the intellectual reformation of South Dakota and continue my search for The Couth on a larger scale.
2 comments:
Dibs on Department of Education!
I should like to be in charge of the "Hatchet Squad". OK?
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